What's your flavor?

on my way to work again, sitting on the Q train, i overhear a very interesting conversation between two women. The conversation, to no surprise is about men. the two women are discussing their "type" of men, and then continue to talk and analyze what it is about these "types" that they are attracted to, in an attempt to find a reason as to why past relationships have failed. so im sitting there and i ask myself, Do i have a "type" of girl? and my answer is "No."

a lot of women have "types". some go for the athlete who the general ball player who is well built, strong n favorite attire is a tee, ball shorts, socks n slipper. the pretty boy who is clean cut, fond of the mirror, and doesn't call them "checker board louis" but instead refers to them as low top Damier Canvas Louis sneakers. the "nice guy", who "actually listens", enjoys going shopping with you, and even lets you think you're right, when its clear that you are wrong. and the thug, the nigga who doesn't "work", is "on the block" all day, and whose definition of a hammer, is not a hand tool that has a handle with a perpendicular attached head of metal, that is used for striking or pounding, but a gun. the list of types go on, but you get the drift.

dudes have "types" too. you got the independent woman, she takes pride in her own work, can open her own door, and don't need you for SHIT. the diva, who has a million "haters", loves to be in the public eye, and goes nowhere without her Damier Azur canvas Speedy. the gansta girl, who will "ride or die", prefers acg's instead of heels, and will not hesitate to "cut-a-bitch." lets not forget the "good-girl," she rarely goes out, and believes that she should talk to a guy for 8 months before they have sex. etc...

we often start relationships with people who we believe are "our type," and then are left scratching our head when in the end it doesn't work out, as if we didn't see it coming. if you have dealt with a particular "type" of female/male and notice that time after time, the same thing happens, wouldn't it make sense to avoid that "type" since it obviously is not working for you? or would you rather stick with that "type" until it works, because eventually it will?
SPEAK...

Timing is EVERYTHING...

"i cant get involved
feelings make it difficult
sparing your heart is me being adult
before it gets too far
i bring it to a halt"
-Pusha T.

when i first heard this line in the "Now we've had her" song (on the Road To Till The Casket Drops mixtape by The Clipse) it stuck out like a sore thumb. as simple as it sounds it actually is very deep. would a female see it as mature, or selfish, if a guy were to cut off relations with her, before her feelings for him made things complicated?

a lot of guys start talking to a girl knowing that @ the end of the day, they are not looking for a relationship. some men start talking to a girl, and express that in the very beginning, others wait until they are confronted by the girl to say what it is they were looking for. wen they know that they want the companionship of a woman, someone to go out or chill with, talk to, and obviously someone to have sexual relations with, thats all. but when feelings are involved, its never that simple. not to say all of the time, but usually in that scenario the girl is cool with just "talking" to the guy, at first. as some time goes along, they get closer, sex becomes a regular thing for them, they are still moving along smooth. its usually around that time, things are going good, you like her, she's cool, then she goes and asks "so....what are we?"

usually the guy will say something funny to try to avoid answering the question, like "we're humans duh!." but once that question comes up, its already gone too far. women know when to ask that question, its usually when they begin to notice that their feelings for the guy are getting stronger, which is based on the chemistry and connection that she BELIEVES that they have. ( i used the word "believe" instead of "knows" because a guy could very well talk to a girl for months and have the same feelings for her as he did when they first started talking, where as the girls feelings may grow and get stronger as time goes by). at this point, the guy doesn't want to say "we'll we are still not a couple if thats what you were thinking," because that's just rude. so a simple "i dunno" will do :- /.

soon enough, the fact that there is no title to the "relationship" that you guys have will become a problem, and also the root to a lot of other problems. and eventually what was a nice, smooth understanding between two people, will evolve into an annoying, ugly "break-up" where the girl tells her friends what an asshole the guy is. and the guy is left telling his homies that he had to dash that psycho.

is there a perfect time to reiterate to a girl that a relationship is not going to be the outcome? or is the guy just supposed to respond nonchalantly with an "i dunno" when being asked to define the status of their "relationship," and just allow things to fall in/out of place =/.
SPEAK...

The Talk

i'm on the 3 train heading to the city, and it passes franklin ave. 4 little girls get on the train and begin to engage in a loud conversation about boys. i notice one girl has her hair braided into a mohawk, is wearing a northface bubble, baggy jeans, and acg boots. the other 3 girls have all have on rainbow dunks, and colorful outfits to compliment them = /. by the look, and sound of it, the girls are in junior high school. the convo gets a little alarming, when the girl with her hair braided into the mohawk goes on to say "that's why i came out, i've been done with boys, they don't do anything for me". so im thinking, what could this little girl have gone through, to already come to the conclusion that she is gay. the other girls laugh, and ask if she is going to wear a suit to the prom next yr. then they continue to interrogate her on her sexuality. one girl asks her, what do girls do for her that boys cant? and her response was that "its not about that, i know what girls like and what turns them on, and i'm very good @ it". she then proceeds to list the names of some girls that she has had sexual encounters with, and by the faces, and giggles that the other girls are making, they must be shocked @ some of the names that they are hearing. things get even crazier, when the girl with the mohawk says that "ask my ex's (referring to past girls) once i lick they stick". @ that point the train pulls into the atlantic ave station, as i get up this older dude, who obviously overheard the same convo looks @ me, and we both shake our heads. we get off the train and this dude says "that shit is crazy, i got a little girl around the same age as them... i hope she not talking like that, it might be time for THE TALK ". and all i can say is "word".

that girl was in the 7th grade and already been with dudes, and is way beyond just "experimenting" with other girls. i kno they say girl mature faster then boys, but damn! @ what age do parents introduce "sex" to their children b4 society does?
SPEAK...

Know all and you will pardon all???

here it is. you meet a girl, she's pretty, smart, funny, and the connection is there. you end up talking, the feelings are getting stronger and then, the unthinkable happens. you find out that she has had her share of men, an std under her belt, and was look @ as a hoe by others. but this is the girl u like, the girl u have a connection with. you decide to confront her, and find out that the accusations are true, she has a faulty past, regrets it, and wants to change with you. do u accept the past and move on? or tell her to hit the bricks?
SPEAK...

You can't handle the truth...

a lot of women say they want a dude who is honest, who keeps it 100, and would never lie to them. but is that really what they want? we (men) could be honest, and say we don't like a particular outfit, a hairstyle, or even tell you that you are gaining weight :- /. but do you want to hear/know that "we" "fuck bitches?" (pardon the language...keeping it 100) i think my son Jody said it best "I make love to you, i want to be with you, but i fuck other females occasionally...i lie 'cause i do love you. being honest would mean i don't give a fuck."
SPEAK...

Intro

only 21, but i've seen, heard, n been thru a lot of sh*t. n most of the time, i feel like my opinion is the "right" one, just as anyone else would. im gonna be throwin some stuff out there n wanted to compare the thoughts and beliefs of others to my own. so feel free to SPEAK.

Preface

Renee is hands down the best BFF a guy could ever ask for.

Her smile: Incredible, Swag: Impeccable. She helped get me on my feet with this thing and as repayment I will blog as many times a week as possible. Stay tuned...

Signed and recommended by,

Everyday Jane Dope.